Resurgo.

I was born in the Moncton Hospital in 1986. I lived in Riverview until I was 5, when we moved to Alma. I started attending Université de Moncton in 2004, and lived in Moncton in fall and winter until 2008, when I moved here year-round. I joke to people "I was born in Moncton, and I'm still here! I haven't gone far in life!", but I love this city. I can't go for a walk without seeing somebody I know, and that's just from working customer service here in the last five years.

Last week, tragedy unfolded. Our beautiful city, a vibrant and close-knit community, was under threat from a gunman. More than a third of Moncton was in lockdown. I had friends who heard the gunshots while out walking, thinking people were setting off fireworks because it was such a beautiful day. I knew at least six families, off the top of my head, who were in the red zone. We weren't, but we were close enough that we didn't want to risk it--the closest police barricade was only five minutes away. #prayformoncton was trending globally on Twitter--a recognition we sadly hoped would be in better circumstances.

Everyone in Moncton was somehow affected by the hours of terror that followed. Five officers were shot, three of whom died from their wounds--their families and friends, to say the least, were among the most affected.

These are the three officers whose names we must remember: Constable Dave Ross, Constable Fabrice Gevaudan, and Constable Douglas Larche. These three men died protecting our city.

Despite the terror and fear, though, there was one thing I noticed about the situation that made our beautiful community seem even more so.

Love. Support. Unity.

People were sharing information--not the locations of the RCMP and their movements, mind you, as was requested of us--and putting friends up in their homes. Porch lights were on across the city to aid the police in their manhunt, leaving a city that felt very dark covered in lights of hope. People stayed in their homes in an attempt to make the suspect the only person moving. The whole city was at a virtual standstill as businesses closed and buses were pulled off the roads. When the announcement came that the suspect was in custody, there was a flood of relief. People were on the roads at 1:30 AM, cheering and smiling. I'm sure I'm not the only one who immediately felt safe again.

The days that followed the shooter's arrest were filled with such an outpouring of support for the RCMP and other first responders that I couldn't help but be proud. I went to get lunch with my mom the day after, and an officer was behind me in line. With tears in my eyes, I shook his hand and thanked him. I watched as he approached the front of the line and a man tried to pay for his lunch. The woman behind the cash smiled and shook her head, saying "it's on us". Business signs on Mountain Road were changed to say "thank you RCMP". My own workplace started selling muffins, 100% of the proceeds going toward the Moncton Fallen RCMP Members Memorial Fund, and today I am trading in my work uniform of green and black for red and white to show my support.

Friday night, a candlelight vigil was held in front of the RCMP's office on Main Street. I've heard mixed reports that anywhere from 2,000-10,000 people were there, but I would believe any number on that spectrum. My husband and I went to witness it, and it was incredible. Flowers covered the steps leading to the building to the point that they had to be left on the street. There was so much love and respect.

This is a public thank you to the RCMP, who were professional and dealt with a difficult situation in a way I can't imagine being any better. Thank you for protecting our beautiful city while mourning your friends, who must have been like family members to you. My heart is with the family and friends of everyone affected by this tragedy.

Violence causes so much pain in everyone's lives, both physically and mentally. To see Moncton come together in love for each other has been so important during this time. It is my sincere wish that through these horrific events, something beautiful can come, and from what I've seen, it's already begun. Nothing can change what happened, but we can prevent events like this from terrorizing our lives again. Violence can only beget violence; let's try to love each other a bit more.

Moncton's motto, by the way, is "Resurgo", which means "I rise up again". Never before has it been more appropriate.

A brutally honest account from an introvert

I love people. Don't get me wrong.

It took me a really long time to adjust to living with another person. As an only child, I got used to sharing space and time with no one in particular. I had a fair amount of friends as a child, and a handful of good friends in high school as well. When Brad and I were about 20, we decided to move in together. It took awhile for Brad to get used to how much I liked solitude, and frankly, it took me just as long to get used to living with another person. Brad also was an only child growing up, but would spend more time with neighbouring children and had more friends at close proximity.

I didn't even know what an introvert was until many years later. At around 2008, I started developing some harsh anxiety and left university to focus on my mental health. Because I suddenly had gained some free time and didn't spend much time around other people, I had a pretty constant desire to see friends. I didn't find myself drained or exhausted. I genuinely wanted to spend time around them.

Summer came and went, and Brad and I moved into a new apartment with our new family member--a kitten named Lady Pansy--while I adjusted to my new job as a waitress. I suddenly started to realise that I didn't like spending time around people as much as I thought I did. The very idea of hanging out with friends became an exhausting prospect. I would start to ignore my phone to catch up on some well-needed writing and reading time. Even planned dates or hang outs with people would become things I would dread. I didn't know that this was because I was spending much more time around people and needed to recharge.

I'm going to stop for a moment and point out that if you think this makes me a bad friend, you likely don't know what an introvert is. Here are a few articles to help you along your way: How to Intract with the Introverted, 7 Positives that only Introverts would Understand, 23 Signs that you Might be an Introvert, 5 Things you need to Know about Introverts. Think you've got it now? Excellent. I'll proceed.

I didn't really know I was an introvert. In fact, a lot of people would likely think of me as an extrovert upon meeting me. I'm very friendly and approachable. I work in customer service, so I see and talk to a number of people on a daily basis. I have a metric ton of acquaintances; it's hard for me to go anywhere without seeing someone I know. I have extroverted hobbies, like singing, acting and going to concerts. Sounds like an extrovert? Not quite.

I have cancelled many plans for the mere reason that I have seen far too many people that week and I just want to sit quietly with my cats and recharge. I have, out of frustration, ignored doorbells when not expecting anyone over. The only time I answer my phone without hesitation is when work is calling me, and that's only because being available is part of my job description. Otherwise, I very regularly screen my phone calls.

Continuing with my story, I had some friends who were starting to wonder if something was wrong. I had a lot less time than before, plus I was seeing an awful lot of people a day and, as a waitress, dealing with conflict as well. I would pass on hangouts and tell Brad to see our friends alone while I caught up with my own mind. I changed jobs and was finding myself working 40 hours a week as a barista, which made my introversion even more prominent.

Eventually, I embraced it. I stopped letting myself worry about whether or not people would be upset if I wanted to spend time with them. I explained to my closest friends that I've never really spent a lot of time with others and that the period of time that I did was the real anomaly. I started to worry less about feeling pressured and decided that I simply am who I am.

Interestingly, the comment section of one of the articles I posted above had an extrovert asking "so, what? Extroverts are just supposed to cater to introverts all the time?" to which another poster responded "the world caters to extroverts". Good point.

I am only spontaneous a good 1 out of 10 times. Very rare is the time that you will ask me "want to go do this right now?" and I'll say "yeah!". Often, I come to the conclusion by myself. If something sounds good enough and I'm not being pressured, I may ask to tag along, because the worst thing you will say is "no" and then I can get back to whatever it was I was doing.

If you identify as an introvert, I recommend you embrace it and teach your friends and family to embrace it, too. After all, it makes you unique. I read online--so, you know, take this with a grain of salt--that only an estimated 25% of the population identify as introverts. Personally, I love being an introvert. It's helped me learn to stand up for myself a little better, and it keeps me self-sufficient. It's not to say that I'm always alone; I'm often seen with my husband and we spend a lot of time together. I can just be content when he's busy or working that I can do things by myself, too.

Here's a little handful of things I hate as an introvert:

10. "You should get out more!"
How about I decide that for myself?

9. Too much stimuli in one place
I love going out to eat, but if we're in a place with 5 TVs, loud music and I also have to order and socialize with the person I'm sitting with, it's overwhelming.

8. In equal amounts, the sound of the telephone or the doorbell
No.

7. "What are you doing on Tuesday?"
I'll tell you what. Invite me to something on Tuesday, and then I'll tell you.

6. Sudden plans
If you pop by my workplace to ask if I want to catch a movie after work, my answer will most likely be "no". It's not that I have any special plans myself. Maybe I just wanted to go home after. It's nothing against you--I just need a bare minimum of a day to get used to the idea of changing plans.

5. Guilt trips
Never ever ever guilt an introvert for not wanting to hang out. This is for the sanity of both parties. This will only push the introvert further away, because he or she will come to associate spending time with the non-introvert friend as an impending guilt trip or just filling a "quota". The more understanding you are of your friend's nature, the more likely they are to seek time with you on their own.

4. Awkward conversation
If I see you in public, I'll likely smile and wave, and carry on my way. I'm not a huge fan of small chat outside of work--I'd much rather keep doing what I was doing. This is nothing against anyone. This is more of a situation that I don't know how to control or respond to. Small talk simply isn't necessary if I know you. I'd rather hear updates and changes with you rather than go back and forth with "what's new?" "not much, you?" "how's Brad?" "good" etc.

3. When I'm done, I'm done
Don't try to keep me around at a party. It will not work, you will be disappointed, and I'll be annoyed.

2. "Are you okay?"
I'M FINE. If I'm not crying or screaming, I am fine. I'm just not saying anything. That happens sometimes.

1. Dropping by
If you just drop by with no announcement, I may never speak to you again. I don't care who you are--unless you're the mail carrier with that package I was waiting for, CALL FIRST.

Some of my favourite things include cancelled plans, power outages in busy places, getting to places before everyone else (i.e., coming into work early before any other customers or co-workers arrive), and early mornings when very few other people are up and about.

To be clear, I don't necessarily advocate using labels to define people. I don't think that being an introvert defines me as a human being, but it does provide a little context as to why I act a certain way socially. I don't think it gives me carte blanche to be a jerk, either, but I do think that it can help people understand why certain friends seem more distant than others. I don't hide behind my introversion or use it as an excuse. Rather, I feel that I define my own sect of introversion.

November is pretty great.

I spent most of my life resenting the very existence of November, until recently. In high school, November is The Month Before Christmas (also known as Not Christmas Yet or What do you Mean we Still Have Two Months Left Before the Holidays? month). In university, November is Final Papers Month (which becomes even worse if you're an English major). In the wonderful world of retail, November is Ah Crap it's Already Christmas and we Have Lineups a Mile Long month, also known as There's Still Two Months of This Before we See a Holiday month.

Somewhere between Final Papers Month and Ah Crap Month, something in me changed. I discovered NaNoWriMo while still in university and, despite all the final papers I had to write and the reading I skipped did, found it to be an exciting and worthwhile exercise. I'm sadly not participating this year because I barely have the time to squeeze this blog post in, but the excellence of NaNoWriMo will be mine once more next year.

There's something inherently quiet about November. If you spend any amount of time in the woods or in nature in general, you may notice a certain kind of peace. Though I love the warmth that summer and spring will offer every year, I've grown accustomed to the chill air of autumn, the early snows and the gentle frost that sits on the grass. The mornings that are quiet and dark seem to be the only source of peace. When you wake up, it's still dark. I like that. When it's that dark in the morning, it seems like no one can approach me. November mornings give me an impenetrable barrier of solitude. No one needs me for anything and I don't have to do anything. I can relax.

A hot cup of coffee tastes best on a November morning, when I'm not chilled to the bone but just cold enough to experience the pleasant contrast in temperatures. The slow cooker comes out and hot soup is just a sleep away as it cooks overnight. Waking up to a golden sun, beaming over the ice-kissed lawn looks like something out of a fairytale.

There's also Movember. Though I can't condone moustaches on anyone under 45 (I'm sorry, I just can't), it's a fantastic cause. And, you know, some participate in full-out No-Shave November, which simply means a greater abundance of beards. That, I can totally get behind.

Now, if only I could feel this way about January, February and March, I'd be all set. For now, at least I can enjoy the tranquility that November brings.

Ten most important albums in my life so far

Everyone who enjoys music has at least one album that is THE album for them. I have ten of them--at least. One of the side effects of having too many interests and an intense love for music makes this the case for me. Rather than trying to just say "I like a bunch of stuff", I've embraced my diverse tastes. 

The ten albums in this list are important to me in some way. They might not be my favourite albums necessarily or even albums that I deem are the best for the artist, but they may have helped me through a difficult time in my life, or may remind me of a happy time. It may even define an entire era of my life for me. Music has a deep impact on how I live my life--it always has. 

With each album on the list I have included either my favourite song on the album, or the song that got me interested in the album in the first place. I tried to rank this but it was very difficult, other than the top three.  So, here you are.

10. The Days of Grays - Sonata Arctica

I don't really have a reason for this one in particular. I preferred Unia as an album on the whole, but this album in particular reminds me of cool autumn mornings, gaming before dawn and taking long walks through fallen leaves while sipping coffee. I love this album and there's something really magical about it that I can't put my finger on. While Flag in the Ground may be the single from the album that initially got my attention, Deathaura really sets the tone and prepares you for a mysterious journey. When I listen to this album, I want to write. Or go on an adventure. Or... both.

9. Hot Show - Prozzäk

When I was 13, I couldn't get this album out of my head. It was the first time I'd ever really listened to an album and thought "this is what I want out of music". While it was often blown off as silly pop, something about it made me see more. I saw past the cartoon pair of Simon and Milo and felt like I understood what Jason and James, the real musicians behind it all, we're trying to say. My prepubescent fawning over the Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls aside, Prozzäk was my first foray into the world of following bands. I still regret that I never got to see them live. My fondest memory is having one of their questions answered enthusiastically by them on a live chat. For the record, I asked them if they were influenced in any way by the Buggles' Video Killed the Radio Star. They were.

8. The Sticks - Mother Mother

At the end of last summer, this album appeared. I was already a Mother Mother fan, particularly of their masterful O My Heart. I'd seen them live twice. I still wasn't expecting the haunting surprise that awaited me with The Sticks. This is one of the few albums that I can listen to the lyrics and really get them. It's all about packing up your stuff, getting away from all the crap in the world and moving out to the boonies--the sticks, if you will--with the animals. Wow, is that ever something I can get behind.

7. Oceanborn - Nightwish
I've mentioned my love for Nightwish before--in fact, it can be hard to get me to shut up about my love for Nightwish. I first heard of them upon stumbling across Sacrament of Wilderness before their music was even available on North American shores over ten years ago, and I've been happily hooked ever since. Oceanborn was the first metal album I ever listened to in full. Kind of like a gateway drug. I found myself instantly wanting more.

6. Discovery - Daft Punk
Ever heard a commercial and had an urge to know what the song playing in the background was? That happened to me when I was 15. I'm sitting there, watching TV with my parents, and a GAP commercial starts playing. Something about the catchy guitar and the somehow innocent vocals grips me and I suddenly have to know what song this is. Instead of doing a simple web search, I go right to the GAP's website and send them an e-mail. "What song is playing on the commercial with the two dancing robots?" I ask. "That's Digital Love by Daft Punk," they reply. And lo, an obsession is born. I realise immediately that they also did Around the World and One More Time and that I like both of those songs, too. The next day we're taking a trip to Nova Scotia, so I stop by FutureShop to pick up the CD on the way there. I proceed to listen to it on repeat--for the next 4 months.

5. Random Access Memories - Daft Punk
I know, I know. Two Daft Punk albums in a row. Deal with it.
This year has been rough for me, and having something to look forward to really helped me out. Finding out that a new Daft Punk album was coming in May was that shining beacon in the future for me. And when the album came, I sat in the car with friends as we drove all over the city, listening to it for the first time. The sun shone through the windows and made the promise that summer was on the way--and what a summer it would be. Something about the fluttering flutes in Motherboard and the bombastic finish that was Contact made me want more out of life. I was happy again.

4. Journey soundtrack - Austin Wintory
If you like video games at all and have a PS3, you owe it to yourself to play this game. Part of what gripped me in this game's beauty and simplicity is the flowing, beautiful music. This game's music is more than just a soundtrack of a video game, though. There's something about the soaring strings in Apotheosis that never fails to make me cry, and something in I Was Born for This that reminds me that everyone is important. The soundtrack to Journey isn't a pleasant instrumental album, the entire work is life put to music. Apotheosis in particular is like the reflection one has at the end of a particularly difficult, but worthwhile, year. It is everything summed into one--the beginning and the end. Everything about this soundtrack makes me think of experiences I've had, sweet and bittersweet. 

3. Dark Passion Play - Nightwish

Here's an ancient photo of me with bassist Marco Hietala,
holding the doll before I gave it to Tuomas
Holopainen.

I had barely gotten to the point of fully understanding that Nightwish was my favourite band before their lead singer, Tarja, was dismissed. Shocked and terribly sad, I had thought that Nightwish's days were over. But then, in the spring of 2007, an angelic new voice came to the surface through Nightwish's new single, Eva. What followed was a musical obsession unlike any other. I spearheaded a YouTube movement (that will remain unnamed because this was half a decade ago and quite frankly I'm a little embarrassed) revolving around Amaranth, I travelled to Quebec three times and even made an Eva doll, which I gave to the band before the first show. Anette took the doll onstage while performing the song. I spent a whole lot of time loving this album. I even ended up taking singing lessons because of the aforementioned Youtube movement. It came at an odd time for me, too, because I was experiencing heavy anxiety, depression and generally was having difficulty getting through my day. Not to mention, I had no idea where my life was going or what to do. Dark Passion Play was the one consistent thing in my life that I could go to and be happy. While it's not my favourite Nightwish album for the songs, it is certainly the most important album Nightwish has released, in my mind, and is still a masterpiece in its own right.

2. The Black Halo - Kamelot
I've also spoken of my love of Kamelot before--very recently, in fact. The Black Halo is my all-time favourite album of any band, ever. This was the album that sold me on Kamelot and, to this day, is my go-to when I can't figure out what I feel like listening to. The summer of 2009 marked my first full year working full time, and between not being in school and not having as much time to work on writing as I used to, I wasn't particularly happy. Add the fact that Brad and I worked opposite shifts and didn't see much of each other, I was lonely too. When we were driving anywhere together during this time, he would play The Black Halo in the car. I had heard bits and pieces of it before, but the more I heard it in its entirety, the more it grew on me, and the more it spoke to me. I bought my own copy of the album and listened to it on repeat for weeks. Somehow it filled my loneliness--it became a friend. The Black Halo is a concept album based on Goethe's Faust and tells an exquisitely crafted tale of sorrow and betrayal, with the main character, Ariel, played by former Kamelot vocalist Roy Khan. By the end of that summer I felt that Ariel and I were old friends, confiding in one another on a daily basis. 

1. Rosedale by Allan Cooper and Rose Dale
I don't need to go into too much detail as to why this is the number one most important album in my life. I helped to create this album. I sang on it and performed live with it. It is the first album I've been on, and hopefully not the last. I loved the process of recording and performing and would love to do it again some day, maybe in a higher capacity, and maybe not. Rosedale was my first entry into the world of professional music and performance and I've been bitten by the bug.

I really, really like music.

I'm sure there will be other albums one day that will grip me in the same way these ten have, and I really can't wait to listen to them. For the moment, though, this is what I have.

Here is a brief list of four more albums that had a big impact on me, but didn't quite make the list:

Deloused in the Comatorium - The Mars Volta
Silverthorn - Kamelot
Imaginaerum - Nightwish
Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morissette (I was nine years old and I had this on cassette!)
Design Your Universe - Epica

Eventually, I'll probably write a bit about various summer soundtracks as well. I associate a lot of images and sounds with memory, as I'm sure a lot of people do, and spend a lot of time with my head in the clouds. Experiencing nostalgia is a daily occurrence for me.

As a bit of a case in point, I started playing The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD yesterday, and with the opening cutscene it occurred to me I hadn't played the game in eleven years. The theme music sent chills down my spine.

I won't lie: I'm not really sure how to end this. So I suppose I'll shamelessly promote my Youtube covers project. Give it a look if you're interested in what I've been up to lately. It's relevant to the topic at hand as I cover songs from a lot of albums listed in this top ten.

My Life as a Nerd

Growing up geeky in my generation wasn't always easy. I had much different interests from other girls my age. I remember well, sitting in my pyjamas at the age of 10 with a loose tooth, playing through Super Mario RPG on my Super Nintendo. In grade 6, when I went to a brand new school, I was bullied and teased for my braces and my weird sense of style. I went home in tears nearly every day. My mom gave me a Sailor Moon doll to help give me incentive to stay at the new school, because I wanted to leave so badly. While I didn't play with my doll, she was a part of my growing collection of Sailor Moon toys and other items: another sign I wasn't like the others.

Summer Fear III led to me getting zombified.

No one wanted to be near me at school dances, which, for some reason, I took to heart in an extreme way. I was that girl you saw, sitting alone in the corner, crying because I was lonely.

I didn't really have anyone to spend time with at school for about a year, when a boy named Johnny and I decided we were destined to be best friends. We'd trade Pokemon cards and watch anime together. I'd go to his house for lunch and we'd play Harvest Moon or Ocarina of Time on his Nintendo 64. We'd spend hours on the phone, giving play-by-plays of the shows we were watching and the games we were playing.

We weren't teased any less, but at least we had each other.

Later on in high school, I had a bit of a broader set of friends--nearly all of them guys. We played card games and our GameBoys together in empty classrooms at noon. Some of my "in-between" friends--not overly popular, but not teased either--couldn't figure out why I wouldn't just hide my weird interests and wear my makeup differently. They told me I could get a boyfriend easily if I changed a few things. I didn't want to change, though. And that did pay off, because now I'm actually married to Brad, who is one of those guys I used to play card games with.

Growing up geeky, as I said, wasn't always easy, and in fact, there were a lot of times that it would have been easier to hide my interests. But, I didn't, hoping that one day it would pay off. When I finally got out of high school and made my way into university, it did.

I lived on dorm by myself, which was fine with me. Brad would come to visit me on weekends, so living alone gave me the freedom to have him over whenever I pleased. The two of us would stay up until the wee hours watching anime and playing Baldur's Gate on my GameCube. I didn't have many friends in university right away, but having Brad visit from the university he attended helped ease the loneliness on weekends.

One day, as I was leaving my dorm room, I caught a glimpse of my neighbour's door and saw a poster that read "Animaritime". Reading further, I saw that this was an anime and gaming convention--something I had always wanted to attend, but was sadly unavailable to kids in the Maritimes. I was instantly on the website from the poster and signed up for the forums. I chatted with people about the event and, eventually, I met my neighbour--through the forums! We exchanged private messages, and she invited me over to her room to hang out.

A year later, I was walking to class. A keychain of Sakura from Naruto dangled off my backpack. The girl walking behind me hurried to catch up, and she quickly engaged me in conversation. We were fast friends, too, and were a big part of each other's lives for the next few years.

Animaritime was a cornerstone for me to find more people who like the same things I do, and with the intensity I like it. I got into cosplay and started becoming friends with the people I met at conventions. It seemed like, for the first time, I had found my people. 

In 2006, I started getting tired of waiting between Animaritime events to cosplay and see people, so I decided to spearhead an event of my own. At first, I just referred to it as "Moncton Cosplay Picnic", but with some help from my good friend and fellow nerd Tom Savage, we came up with the name Picnicon. The event has been happening on a yearly basis ever since, with a break of only one year in the interim.

After Animaritime one year, Brad and I were invited by a local gaming store to start up a Pokemon League for kids to learn how to play and meet other kids for free. Five years later, we're still at it--Brad's a League-officiated Pokemon Professor, in fact. And yeah, we're pretty pumped for X and Y. I'm getting X, because that deer is too fabulous to pass up.

Attending Animaritime as a staff member this year, I got to witness firsthand as teenagers and young adults made new friends, brought together by the love they feel for various geeky pursuits. I thought to myself how lucky all of these kids are, growing up in an age that these events take place on a regular basis. When I was young, Maritime con-goers would have to travel to Quebec or Ontario to enjoy a large-scale event. Now, after nearly ten years of Animaritime, the event has reached over 1,700 attendees. This is a far cry from the 200-something attendees that were there the year I started going, which was their second year of operation.

Picnicon 2013 is coming up very soon, with thanks to my staff and the attendees for their ongoing support. Picnicon will never be a 1,700 person event, but it has been expanding every year and has been a lot of fun. Just last weekend I had the opportunity to go to Harbour Con-Fusion to meet people who have made an incredible living off being awesome and geeky. Some day, I hope to be among them.

I could go on for hours on this topic. To end, here is an amazing video featuring super-nerd Wil Wheaton that, I feel, sums up why it's awesome to be a geek today. 

Anticipation

As I sit here writing, I have the new Daft Punk album, Random Access Memories, staring back at me from my phone. It is complete and waiting for me to listen to it, but because of a promise made to a good friend, that will wait for now. Instead, I'm thinking about how incredible an album it's going to be. Even the one song I've heard from the album is a whole two minutes longer than its radio edit, so really, it will be almost entirely material I've never heard.

Have you ever taken a moment, while just about to read the last page of a book or about to watch the last half hour of a film, to think about how amazing that moment you're about to experience is? Something you didn't know five minutes ago will be something you know, and always will know, in the moments to come. You will never be able to re-live that moment. You will forever be trying to re-imagine that sense of wonder you feel in the moments leading up to your experience.

This is exactly how I feel about Random Access Memories right now.

Daft Punk's Discovery album came at a pivotal time to me: my late teenage years. 12 years ago, Discovery became a very important part of my life, as far as musical influence goes. And now, I get the feeling that Random Access Memories is about to become the same.

My friends and I plan on listening to the album in their car tomorrow after I'm done work, cruising with the album playing at full blast. Interestingly enough, interviews with contributors to the album reveal that Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo did much the same during the process of putting the album together.

I'll prolong the anticipation for now. At 4 PM tomorrow, I'll be ready.

I have a challenge for you. At the last few pages, or even the last chapter, of whatever book you're reading now, stop. Think about the journey you've taken so far, and what loose ends are left to be tied up. Reflect on the fact that you're about to learn something new that you'll never re-experience, and take a moment to recognize how remarkable that feeling is. Then, turn the page.

The Nostalgia of the Infinite

The Nostalgia of the Infinite, Giorgio de Chirico

Do you ever spend time thinking about the past? Most of us do. I tend to spend more time in my head than I do in reality, so sometimes I spend more time thinking about random details than I do focusing on the task ahead of me. It can be difficult when there's always some form of trigger to bring the waves of nostalgia into being. Smells, sounds, songs and albums, and sometimes places will lead me to different places in time.

For example, the smell of some of the winter teas we sell at work reminds me of sitting in the back room, writing numbers on bags during a 12-hour work day. Watching any episode of the Walking Dead reminds me of New Year's Day, when my husband and I pulled an all-nighter marathon-ing the second season then went out for breakfast at 6:30 AM. We went to bed at 8 and slept until 1, making it one of the most awesome days we've had together. The song "Keep on Galloping" by Korpiklaani reminds me of walking to my job (which I hated at the time--waitressing, yeuch!) in the snow, daydreaming about a log cabin in the woods with a warm fire. The smell of the peppermint vanilla candle in the bathroom reminds me of playing FEAR 3 with my husband before Christmas, with that same candle lit. Not exactly festive, but a fond memory nevertheless.

This post is named after a painting by Giorgio de Chirico of the same name. I found it appropriate, because of the name and the certain lonely feeling I get when looking at the picture, even if there are two people. To me, the two people in the picture represent one person. One person is in the present, while the other is in the past, and they're walking together on the same path. It could be said that one walks with oneself whenever reminiscing about the past.

While it doesn't always do to dwell on the past, our past experiences have helped make us all what we are today. I always find it interesting to listen to new albums, or to frequently drink a certain tea, and see later what those things remind me of a few months down the road.

How about you, readers? What reminds you guys of certain things? Any tastes, smells, songs? I'd be interested to know!