A petal for your thoughts, Part 2

...And then, I played Journey.



As the trailer suggests, it's a game in which the journey is the most important part. As the trailer also suggests, there is a co-op mode, meaning you can play alongside someone else. The co-op is very unique, however, in that you don't choose who you play with. In fact, you don't even choose if you get to play with someone. The co-op is randomly selected, depending on whether or not someone is playing in the same area as you at the same time. They could also leave at any point, making your experience different every time. Sometimes they'll be replaced by someone else and you'll have multiple companions. You can't talk to your companion. You can only communicate in symbols, song notes and chirps. You may not believe this, but it actually becomes a feasible means of communicating, and you may find yourself understanding what your companion is saying by the end of the journey.

I was lucky, in that I had the same companion throughout. I wasn't sure if I had switched companions, but my suspicion of having the same one was confirmed at the end when I was told the screen name of my buddy (thanks for the great time, mrconkin! Sorry I kept falling off stuff; I have terrible depth perception).

Near the beginning of the game, I was walking alone when my companion, very suddenly, appeared beside me. We were both overjoyed, and we sang back and forth and chased each other in circles before progressing in our journey. The wide expanses of the game's setting are enough to make a player feel very small, so having a second person just like you to help you and stand beside you is startlingly powerful.

My companion was very helpful, and tried to protect me and signal me where to go when monsters appeared. He would sing to me to get my attention when he found something. At one point near the end of the game, we had been momentarily separated. I knew we were near the end, and I couldn't even see the white bloom glow that hinted at his whereabouts. I felt lonely and sad that we wouldn't be completing the journey together. I actually started crying as I looked up at the beautiful, glowing expanse I was soaring through, quietly wishing that my companion was there to see it with me.

My husband, who was watching me play behind me, saw the golden glow of my companion soaring up a long line of scarves at the same time I did. Knowing how attached I had grown to this guy in the mere span of 2 hours, he pointed him out, saying "there he is!". I laughed, and the two of us were reunited once more. After another brief separation, we were rejoined again, and we completed the journey together, walking into the bright white glow side by side.

Reading this, you would think I went on some sort of life-changing pilgrimage. I almost feel as though I did, and I don't care how stupid that sounds.

The game made me think of communication, and the inner workings of things like language. The entire game, nothing is ever verbally communicated, and it's not needed. You form ways of communicating with your companion, and you learn more about the story by visual representation. Your relationship to your companion reminded me a bit of ICO, in which you also can't communicate other than by calling out. The bond is made stronger, though, in Journey, by your companion actually being a real person on the other side. A story I heard online was that someone played a game of Journey with someone and sent them a message afterwards. That person replied to them in Japanese, meaning they were both able to play this game together when they may otherwise not have been able to do so. It's incredible that a game can bring strangers together like that.

I am truly captivated at the way these games can convey strong stories without using any words. They both have linear stories with a beginning, middle, and end, but the only way to communicate those stories is through strong images and powerful music. And yet, I feel I have a stronger response to these games than from any game I've ever played. It seems that the games with the most minimalist storylines and gameplay are the ones that really tug at me and make me think outside of the story.

I don't want to turn this into a video game review blog, obviously, but being that both Journey and Flower are games that have heavily inspired me (and the blog is called "When I'm Inspired, after all) I felt compelled to share my experiences in writing.

If either of these games appeal to you at all, I really urge you to play them. My experiences are just that: my experiences. You cannot truly know these games by listening to someone else's commentary. You have to play them yourself to truly know. Some people have talked about which is "better", but in my opinion they can't be compared. They are separate, unique experiences that stand alone.

Both of these games are great advocates of non-violence in video games, as well as art in video games. Journey is an excellent example of teamwork, as the only reason to work with someone else in the game is for the sheer gratification of it. I feel there is a little something in each thatgamecompany game that suggests harmony and peace. If we all had that little something in us, I believe the world could be a better place.

Our world is so full of "stuff"--cars, buildings, and machines. In a world like this, it's nice to find some simplicity, such as the simplicity you find in Flower and Journey. The landscape and scenery can make you feel this unexpected elation. It's too bad that can't be enough for all of us.

That is how these games have affected me. Have they affected you, too?

A petal for your thoughts

Anyone who has ever tried to pass off video games as mindless entertainment really owes it to him/herself to check out the game I have posted a trailer of below.



This game is Flower, a game in which you control the wind and a stream of petals to make flowers bloom. Each flower that blooms adds another petal to your stream. It sounds simple, but watching the trailer alone should tell you that it's actually a very intensive emotional experience. It's a game that is directed at everyone, and that anyone could pick up and play and enjoy.

I don't want to spoil the ending, so I'll recommend that if you have a PS3, you at least download the demo and give it a shot. I hope you won't be disappointed.

Playing through this game got me thinking about the things we do to this planet and have been doing, and all the things that are happening because of us. The bees disappearing, climate change. The earth is slowly falling into ruin. It's not pleasant to think about, but it's sadly what we face from day to day. Most people prefer not to think about it at all (including myself, some days), and some deny it. The reality is that the planet is declining, and we aren't helping that. In fact, we're helping it decline.

I notice a lot of negative connotation when the topic of environmentalism is brought about, and I've always really wondered why. I read a letter to the editor in a local newspaper once that said that "tree-hugging" wasn't the way to secure a sustainable future, and that a creating jobs (that negatively impact the environment, in this instance) was. I can understand and support the need for jobs in any community, but why would that ever take precedence over the world we live in? If it's an immediate threat to our world, why would we choose that over our planet?

We've taken the earth into our own hands, and we haven't been very careful with it.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. None of us are. But we can all find ways to live a little more purely, whether it's by recycling more, composting, turning off the faucet while brushing your teeth, planting more flowers, or turning off the light when you leave the room.

Earth Hour is coming up on March 31, 2012, 8:30 PM. If you're able, try to make an effort to use little to no energy during that time. Light a candle and read a book. I plan on doing just that.

-K.

Burning the midnight oil

Some nights, when I'm up really late and can't get to sleep, I get some of my best writing done.

Tonight is not one of those nights.

I did, however, want to take the opportunity to talk about a talk and workshop I gave at the Moncton Library two weeks ago.

I was very privileged to have been invited to come speak about my creative process to a welcoming group of 13-18 year-olds. I discussed inspiration, writer's block and other things to a fantastic audience, then we paired off to do workshops. I was presenting alongside talented comic artist Rene LeClair, who did a comic and illustration workshop as I gave a writing one.

A surprising amount of people in the group expressed that they had some trouble with writer's block, so I took the opportunity to talk a little more about it to them.

I don't want to say that I have never suffered from writer's block, but I've noticed that in recent years, I have had less trouble finishing what I've started than before. I think part of that reason is because I have stopped placing the bill of urgency on things to be completed, which is something I was guilty of in the past. I would get so preoccupied with finishing the work in a timely matter that I would lose focus of what was important: the actual writing. Last year, I started my NaNoWriMo project and had hit the 50,000 word mark, but I didn't write the actual ending to the project until a full year later.

My best advice for writer's block is thus: continue with life. Find something else to write about. Give yourself exercises, like describing an item or a place. Take long walks and look carefully at the things and people around you. Start a field journal and write about your surroundings. Write. Write often, about everything. Take those experiences with you as you finish the work you're stuck on.

Also, never edit as you go. Once your words are on paper, leave them and come back to them later, with fresh eyes. If you get too caught up in the details of your own work, you risk being stuck in the details and never seeing the big picture. If you must, set time aside for editing, but try to make it a goal to write first, and edit later. A first draft will never be a perfect, groundbreaking piece of literature. You can progress from there and turn it into a second, third, and fourth.

Everyone writes differently, so please don't feel that I'm trying to preach. This is all simply what I find helps me if I'm stuck in a rut. If I pace myself and don't think of finishing the work, I'll find, more often than not, that the answer will subconsciously appear when I'm writing something else. That is the time that having a couple of spare notebooks lying around becomes very useful!

And with that, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Sometimes, writing becomes such a force that it keeps you up at night, even if the things you have to say are, really, only for yourself.

But on a note that is not directed to myself: a big thanks to the Moncton Library for having me to give a talk. It was my pleasure and an honor to be invited. Thank you!

And with that, good night.
K.

(To add, Population 1 is still coming along nicely. Feel free to visit the blog and join the story!)

Population: 1

Some good news today. I sat down and completely finished the planning for Population: 1, meaning that the story and general skeleton are complete and what remains is to begin writing it!

If you'll recall, almost a year ago I published a post containing video and a blurb about it. I wasn't sure what to do with it at first, and later decided it should be my next web-based writing project a la Hub City Survival. Ever since I decided to make it a writing project, I've undergone a very extensive planning process to ensure it is everything it can be. The planning took a little longer than anticipated, but it is done and it is ready to start being written.

What this means to you, the reader, is that you will soon be able to start participating in and influencing the story. Now, I've given myself a deadline for the first post so you all know what to look for. The in-character blog will be updated on Monday, February 20. So, to recap, here are a couple of links for you:

- Population: 1's in-character blog, where the story unfolds.
- Population: 1's out of character blog, where you will participate in and influence the story.

Here, too, is the trailer that I originally made for the project, back before it was a trailer and when it was just a random short film.



This will be the last I post about Population: 1 in this blog until the story is complete, as all updates will be story-related from here forward. Check on both blogs on Monday, Feb. 20, and be prepared to enter a strange town where no one can be found.

I'll leave you with a couple of teaser photos. Below are photos from my project notes. I have 28 pages worth, most of which is plot summary but a lot of which is history and geography-related as well.

Seeya on Monday!
K.

Journey

It's been awhile since I last posted. The holidays took up a lot of time and sucked up most of my energy. Directly up to December 24th, my creative pool was dry as a bone. I took those days to completely relax, and with the relaxation came ideas.

I've said before that I have a particular love for video games that convey certain feelings or emotions, and I find aspects of certain games to be inspiring. Throughout the month of December and into early January, I kept myself sane by playing video games. For nostalgia factor, I played Legend of Zelda, but the new and updated 3D version. Then my husband and I played FEAR 3 together (I played Fettel). From the ashes of the holidays came the phoenix known as Boxing Day sales, which led to me buying a copy of the ICO/Shadow of the Colossus collection. I have since gone through and beaten ICO, and it was my first play through of the game.

I'd like to take an opportunity, before I continue, to make a case for video games as storytelling devices. Too often, video games are passed off as merely entertainment. I have to wonder if the people passing off these games have ever really sat down and played a truly good game, with a rich story and characters you relate to. The point of a good video game is to take you and put you directly in the story. You become the character, and their goals are yours. Instead of following along with the character's goals and aspirations, they become yours. That facet of video games has always been one of my favourite parts of playing them.

Because of this love for specific games, I have always had a desire to design and direct a game. This has been ever since I was a child. I remember drawing characters and writing back stories as early as twelve, dreaming up new worlds and levels.

This past week, I've taken a step toward designing one, myself. I drew a scene from a game that I would make, called Thread. Click the image below to see the scene, and to read about my aspirations for the game, should it ever come to fruition.


Thread by ~nekonezume on deviantART

Now that my little spiel is complete, I'm going to update you on a couple of things.

Population 1 is not cancelled! It's postponed. I ended up writing a lot more backstory than I intended, and adding more detail than I had originally even planned. This is a good thing. When Population 1 launches (I'm hoping for a February launch, but stay tuned), it will be complete.

I have been invited by the Moncton Library to give a talk on my book in March. I'll have more information on that when it arises. I'm very excited about it! Thanks to the Library for inviting me.

Next week I'm going to be my theatre troupe's production of Ken Ludwig's Three Musketeers, which is yet another reason the planning for Population 1 has been stunted. Busy busy...

I hope to talk about poetry with my next post, which hopefully won't be another two months from now!

The beauty of loneliness.

For a reason I'm unable to explain, I'm drawn toward media (books, video games, films) that deal with the concept of loneliness. Some great examples are the games Fragile Dreams and Shadow of the Colossus, and the film Wrecked. There is something inherently beautiful in the characters' singular completion of tasks.

I think I love video games the most, because they have so much mystery to them. Certainly, you play the game to figure out what's happening, and you unravel the past. A lot of the time, however, you never really get to get inside the main character's head. If you do, the character frequently voices their loneliness, drawing the player in with them. This is seen best in Shadow of the Colossus, which is an experience in itself. I didn't even play the game: I watched my husband play it well over a year ago. Regardless, the game stuck with me.

Wander, the main character, is exploring an expansive landscape with no companion but his horse, Agro. Because no other people are around him, he doesn't speak, except to say his horse's name. What is he thinking, as he completes this journey alone? That always seemed interesting to me. The character that isn't given a voice has to be thinking of something at this point in the story.

I tried to emulate that feeling of emptiness and loneliness last year with my, as yet untitled, NaNoWriMo project. That is the one I am currently editing. I posted an excerpt last year, along with a Shadow of the Colossus remix which was some of my background music as I wrote. If you'll notice, I wrote a similar summary of Shadow of the Colossus in that entry.

Today, I'm going to leave you with a CreepyPasta I wrote a little while back. Urban Dictionary defines CreepyPasta as "creepy stories that float around on the Interwebs". They are usually short stories but can be longer as well. Two of my personal favourites are Killswitch and the first arc of the BEN Drowned/Haunted Majora's Mask Cartidge ARG.

In the following CreepyPasta, which I have titled Your Neighbors, I tried to capture that same feeling of emptiness while adding an unnerving ending. I hope you enjoy.

---

Your neighbors are loud.

You've been living in this apartment complex for three years by yourself and they've always been loud.

You have to work in the morning? They have friends over, and they're having a party. You wanted to sleep in? They're playing their guitars as loudly as they can. Even if you're enjoying the weather outside, they're tearing through the parking lot, kicking up dirt. It pisses you off, but you don't have the nerve to go to the landlord and complain, so you bottle it up and deal with it most of the time.

One night, you're going to bed early because you have to work the next morning. You set your alarm for six and settle into your cozy, warm bed. Just as sleep is about to take you, you hear some loud music and hollering from above. It seems your upstairs neighbors have decided to throw a party.

You surprise yourself with the rage you feel. Too many times have you gone to work in a stupor, having lost sleep the night before because of these imbeciles. Too many times have you held your tongue and suffered. Your rage builds up and you feel you've built up the nerve to get up and say something...

When suddenly you wake up, feeling more rested than you ever have. You stretch and rub your eyes and get ready for your day. You forget about the night before; it was probably better that you fell asleep before saying something, anyway. You go to work as normal and come home in the evening.

That night, things were quieter, and you slept very well. It is a good thing I didn't say anything, you think. There was clearly no need.

Over the following days, you notice things becoming progressively quieter. Indeed, the entire complex is far quieter than it has ever been.

And then you notice the stench.

At first, it's a mild smell--foul, but you only notice it sometimes. So you take out the trash, and go about your day. But it lingers, and worsens as time goes by.

And then you notice that all activity has ceased. What was once a bustling apartment complex no longer yields the activity and noise of before. Things are peaceful. You spend a few days reveling in it. You even call in sick a day to appreciate it. Just when you're starting to get used to the blissful quiet, you hear a knock on your door. You answer it, and it's a girl who lives in the complex. You always liked her; she was quiet and wouldn't invite friends over or play music at all hours. She looks exhausted, like she hasn't slept in days.

"Um... excuse me," she says meekly, brushing a lock of wavy red hair behind an ear. "I couldn't help but notice that we're the only ones left in the complex, and there seems to be something awful going on... can I come in? Please?" She gives you a nervous smile, and she looks to be on the verge of tears. So, you take pity on her. You let her in.

This works out very well for the first little while, but you begin to notice that she's crying. At first it's a soft cry, but then she becomes increasingly miserable, crying louder and longer. It starts to unnerve you after awhile. At first you felt bad for her, but now she won't shut up. She's being too loud.

Too loud.

TOO LOUD.

You don't remember what happened after that, but now there's blood on your hands and a trickle of blood coming from the closed bedroom door.

But it's blissfully quiet.

Don't overdo it.

Today, I saw an older gentleman exiting a food bank with several bags of food. I noticed he was struggling to walk, so I offered to help him carry some groceries. He declined, however said that he would be grateful if he could lean on me as he walked. So, I let him, and he imparted to me a little bit of wisdom.

He told me he had a pinched nerve in his back, and that was why he had difficulty walking. He told me that these aches and pains can come on no matter how old you are, and can really slow things down for you. He stopped walking for a moment, then, and turned to look me in the eye.

"You're young," he told me, "and you have more opportunities to be happy." He looked pointedly at me, then. "Don't overdo it."

That was one of those "eureka" moments, for me. It felt almost as though he knew what has been going on in my life of late, and how I have, in fact, been "overdoing" it. I've been working harder than necessary on a number of things, and I haven't taken time for myself to be happy. It's just been a constant "go, go, go".

I helped him to his car and we then parted ways. As I left, it got me thinking about what he said. "Don't overdo it."

Why do so many of us (and I'm including myself, here) feel the need to escape from our lives? What are we running from, and why?

Coping with stress and unhappiness comes in a number of forms. My mother once said to me "Don't wish your life away, because this is it". A lot of stress comes from being unhappy with what you have. That doesn't mean that we should settle, but rather, if we're unhappy with something and have the power to change it, why not do that? If you hate your job, find a new one. Don't make excuses, be in control of your life. If you don't want to find a new one because the money is good with your current one, then find something about the current one that you like.

Happiness isn't a given thing. It comes with practice. Sometimes you need to make yourself be happy the sake of your sanity. Take time to do something you love each day, or just to relax and close your eyes. Make plans, or do something spontaneous.

Don't escape your life, embrace it. Because, as my mother said, this is it. While it's always important to cut loose and enjoy yourself, don't spend your days waiting for that time to come. I fall into this trap all the time. I think we all do; it's a very human thing to do. If you catch yourself doing it and try to correct it, though, you may find that happiness isn't so far away.

That's my rare, stress-free lucid moment for today.

Here's an update on my NaNo goals, while I'm here. It's only November 4th and one of my goals is complete, so I can get started early on the next one! Actually... I already have started the other goal. It's been in the works for a few months. But this morning I worked on it for a little while.

1. Finish last year's novel. Complete! Wrote the ending last night.
2. Finish the planning for Population: 1. - In progress.
3. Plan and script another cooking video.
4. Do a soft edit of the draft of last year's novel.
5. Finish writing the song I started earlier this year.

In further news, I've been invited to open for New Brunswick novelist Beth Powning at her reading on November 17th! I'm very honored to have been asked. It will be at 8 PM at La Teraz (154 Church Street, Moncton NB). Admission is by donation. I will be giving a short reading from Hub City Survival and will also be bringing a few copies to sell. If you have a copy you would like me to sign, you can bring it along that night. I'd love to see you there.

'Til next time!

K.